Attachment Styles Persist into Adulthood
False Assumption: Infant attachment categories like secure, anxious, avoidant, or disorganized rigidly determine adult romantic and relational behaviors as fixed traits.
Written by FARAgent on February 09, 2026
Developmental psychology in the late 20th century solidified attachment theory for infants via the Strange Situation experiment, a solid evolved mechanism for proximity-seeking seen across species. But pop psychology elongated this into lifelong 'styles' carried like baggage into adult romance, implying early caregiver bonds scripted eternal patterns.
Reality intruded: studies showed infant attachment predicts just 15% of adult variance, with a third of adults shifting categories in years; current partners matter far more, rendering styles relationship-specific strategies, not traits. This mismatch fueled self-help myths and therapeutic overreach, confusing inclinations with destiny.
Emerging consensus reframes attachment as contextual tactics recycled from past successes, not immutable baggage; critics note the irony of psychologists fixating on infancy while ignoring the elephantine influence of today's relationships.
Status: Growing recognition that this assumption was false, but not yet mainstream
People Involved
- In the world of psychology, Josh Zlatkus emerged as a persistent critic of the rigid attachment style doctrine. As a co-author and psychologist, he played the role of cassandra, warning that these styles should be seen as flexible strategies tailored to specific relationships, not as immutable traits. [1] His advocacy highlighted the flaws in assuming infant patterns locked in adult behaviors, pushing for a more nuanced view amid the field's slow reckoning.
▶ Supporting Quotes (1)
“To me, the way to make “attachment style” genuinely useful is to treat it as a description of strategies, not traits.”— Psychology’s Greatest Misses (Part 1/3)
The Foundation
The assumption took root by extending categories from infant experiments, like the Strange Situation, straight into adulthood. Experts drew parallels across species, which lent credibility at first, but this ignored the weak predictive links and how styles varied by partner.
[1] Growing evidence suggests the idea was flawed; it fostered notions of fixed emotional baggage steering romance, even as data showed early attachments accounted for just 15 percent of variance in adult outcomes, with one-third of people shifting categories in short order.
[1] Increasingly recognized as misleading, the belief overlooked how relationships themselves shaped these patterns, though the debate lingers in some circles.
▶ Supporting Quotes (2)
“Human infants can be categorized by their reactions to a caregiver leaving and returning (known as the “Strange Situation”) as anxious, avoidant, disorganized, or secure.”— Psychology’s Greatest Misses (Part 1/3)
“the evidence suggests otherwise: early attachment explains only about 15% of the variance in later attachment, and roughly one-third of adults change attachment categories within a few years of their last measurement.”— Psychology’s Greatest Misses (Part 1/3)
How It Spread
The idea gained traction through popular channels, embedding itself in self-help books and media stories that framed attachment styles as lifelong traits.
[1] This narrative influenced therapy practices and public perceptions, often biasing how people understood their own relationships.
[1] As it spread, the assumption colored advice columns and pop psychology, reinforcing a simplified view that growing evidence now challenges as overly rigid.
▶ Supporting Quotes (1)
“The popular narrative is that people carry these “attachment styles” into adulthood—particularly into the arena of romance—like so much emotional baggage.”— Psychology’s Greatest Misses (Part 1/3)